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The Problem with Frenemies


When did you realize your best friend was actually your frenemy? Was it when she pointed at your stomach and laughed at you and said hers was flatter? Maybe, it was all of the times she implied that she was more physically attractive to men because her hair was longer than yours? Maybe, it was the day she called you fat and harassed you on social media all day? The list goes on and on, but you somehow always ended up being “friends” again. Relationships can be so deeply complex. I have learned over the years that I have trouble trusting people and when I do it’s often the wrong people. I have struggled with seeing people for who they are and accepting their emotional abuse or projecting as a form of love. It doesn’t matter how long you have known someone, if it’s a trauma bond let it go!

•Genuine friends support (and actually like) one another.

•Genuine friends don’t compare one another to the other and try to make you feel less beautiful or less important than them.

•You deserve better than toxic relationships.

Know when to check yourself if you are the one being a shady friend. This message is for the low key girls who have it going on but were tricked into believing that they were someone else’s sidekick. You are the one baby girl, don’t let them tell you you not. Set yourself free and flourish! Have you had any experiences like this? Let’s talk about it!


Photo: Mishira Davis


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Areli Toscano
Areli Toscano
May 11, 2021

I’m recently going through this. My best friend cut me off during one of the hardest moments of my life 5 years ago. She would always compare herself to me, call me ugly in front of our friends, and try to make me feel less. But when ever she needed me I was there. I came from an abusive family and was with an abusive partner so all her behaviors where normal to me. This past year she reached out and decided to hang out with me after being out of touch for so many years. We hung out, and she apologized for not being there, that she was in a dark place too. After hanging out a couple more…

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Lauren J. Williams
Lauren J. Williams
May 11, 2021
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Thank you so much for sharing your story! Sometimes it can be hard to let people go, but if it’s not right it’s not right. You are a beautiful person worthy of love and respect! ❤️

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